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Nirvana
"Even though Kurt Cobain is dead, He’s a big part of my life. He brings joy to me when I listen to his lyrics. He helps me feel better when I’m depressed."
By Paulina Perez
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One hundred high school sophomores were assigned to write personal reflections as part of an essay contest at LA’s John Marshall High School. The winning entries were turned into audio essays through a collaboration between 826 LA, a writing program and Youth Radio, a youth media production company. Subjects ranged from multi-cultural identity, loss, relationships with parents to young love, reflections on the world, and teen idols. We're presenting some of these essays in our series High School Confidential. Today, Paulina Perez describes the influence of the band Nirvana on her adolescence.
The first song I ever learned how to play, smells like Teen Spirit by Nirvana. Back in middle school, Kurt Cobain inspired me and my friends to learn to play the guitar and bass. After school we took a free guitar class. But it wasn’t easy. When someone tried to play a solo they either played the wrong note or made up new ones. Eventually, we all got better, so we tried to play the guitar and sing at the same time, but someone would mess up the lyrics and we would laugh. The teacher would get mad because we weren’t practicing what we were supposed to.
See, Kurt Cobain is my Idol. I first heard him when I was seven years old. My dad would play Nirvana’s In Utero album. Their music eventually got stuck in my head. Now when I get depressed, I listen to Kurts music. His lyrics say what I feel before I even know that I’ve felt it.When I listen to nirvana, well, it’s a feeling that I can’t explain. Kurt’s writing makes me think that he really knows how life is. I feel better.
The song called “Heart-shaped box” reminds me of a time when I was mad at my mom. She eyed me like a Pisces when I am weak, thats my mom. When I try to explain something to her she often thinks I’m wrong or dumb. This one time she made fun of me because I said that my hearing doesn’t work well. She tried to insult me. “You don’t have any of your four senses anyway,” she said. I said “we don’t have four senses; we have five” She got mad at me and made me feel bad. So I went to my room.
Kurt and I have the same perspective on the world and about bands. In his journals he wrote things that I think are true. Like all pre-teens hate their parents and feel weird around the opposite sex. When I was at that age, I hated my parents. I thought they didn’t notice that I was growing up. They treated me like a little kid. I felt weird around boys, too. In second grade we had to sat in assigned seats, my classmate thought it was wierd to sit next to boys. The girls said “They had cooties.”
Even though Kurt Cobain is dead, He’s a big part of my life. He brings joy to me when I listen to his lyrics. He helps me feel better when I’m depressed. He inspired me to play the guitar and bass. And his music brings back good memories that I will cherish forever.
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