The Talk

"Parents shouldn’t be afraid to talk about sex. Get over it and try and be calm about the whole thing!!"

By Johanna Greenberg
March 8, 2007

Listen to this Commentary!

The Birds and the Bees: Youth Radio's Johanna Greenberg took an informal poll at her high school in Portland, Maine and talked to her friends about sex education at home.

JOHANNA
I’m sorry to say this, but parents are falling down on the job when it comes to “the talk.”

JOHANNA (on tape)
Have your parents given you a sex talk?
Friend: No!
Friend: No.
Friend: I feel uncomfortable!
Friend: No, they never did.
Friend: No...

JOHANNA
At school, when we compare notes, my friends and I realize we are learning about sex from the internet and the movies because our parents aren’t talking with us.

GIRL (on tape)
They just assumed that I did it already, but they didn't talk to me about it.
Johanna: Have your parents given you a sex talk?
Boy: No.
Joanna: They haven't said anything about sex to you, nothing at all?
Boy: No, none whatsoever.

JOHANNA
Even excellent parents like mine didn’t give me the talk until I asked.

MOM (on tape)
I think that I did talk to you about sex.
Johanna: You didn't talk to me about sex.
Mom: I did a little bit. I know I did.
Johanna: You talked to me about womanly things. I remember that.
Mom: I think I remember saying, "I hope you wait." Or maybe that was with somebody else.

JOHANNA
She’s probably talking about my two older sisters. They never received a sex talk either. I guess I understand why my parents didn’t give me the talk. I’m not sexually active, and I haven’t been in a serious relationship. But, that’s no excuse. I still felt cheated.

I already knew the logistics of sex, but I wanted to learn what my parents thought. When I forced my parents to give me their version of the birds and the bees, it went pretty well. They told me the typical things: “Don’t have sex before you’re ready. Make sure you’re in love.” Of course, it was awkward.

DAD (on tape)
I would like you to know that sex is a part of love and a part of a relationship and it’s a part of a way that you show caring in a relationship.

JOHANNA
That’s my dad, Gerry.

DAD (on tape)
The other part is, of course, the consequences of you know...pregnancy, HIV, and those are the kind of...did I say pregnancy?

JOHANNA (on tape)
Uhhhhh...My dad can be a little forgetful. This awkwardness doesn’t compare to what my friends have told me about their own sex talks.

My friend’s father told her to “Pay attention Mary,” when a condom commercial came on TV. Pay attention Mary? The stories go on and on. Listen to this particularly bad piece of advice.

GIRL (on tape)
They said that I shouldn’t go up into girls’ rooms and close the door and that there was to be no knoodling in front of them.

JOHANNA: Knoodling? What sort of word is that? Parents shouldn’t be afraid to talk about sex. Get over it and try and be calm about the whole thing! When you give the talk, don’t assume that we know nothing. Don’t try to be funny, because that will only make everything more awkward. And whatever you do, don’t bring it up in a car! Your teenager will feel trapped...

And lastly, no teenager wants to hear a graphic description of how sex works. Impart your values, but realize that we might have to learn from our own mistakes. Just give us all of the information we need to be safe. Above all, remember, not giving a sex talk is the worst sex talk of all.

- This story was produced by Blunt Radio in Maine.