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From India to Afghanistan
"Perhaps some of what made Afghanistan feel so much like home is that it strengthened my ties to Islam."
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By Nishat Kurwa
As an Indian Muslim American woman, Youth Radio’s Nishat Kurwa felt a surprising sense of belonging during her recent trip to Afghanistan, a place she was visiting for the first time.
I don’t use the word love lightly. But in the space of six days, I came to love Afghanistan…
My oval brown face, angular nose and dark eyes, and the way I wore my dupatta, or headscarf…weren’t the only things that helped me to fit in.…I know the words that are passports into conversations and moments.
But sometimes the ubiquity of religion made me feel like an impostor in Kabul, where, accepted as a Muslim sister, my costume of dupatta and long sleeved bulky clothing belied the full truth about me. At home, I pray as much as I can, but not enough to feel truly faithful. In my cozy Kabul room with a dripping oil stove, sometimes the morning Adhan, or call to prayer, wasn’t enough to rouse me. Shivering just at the thought of braving the flooded bathroom tiles to perform ablution rituals in freezing cold water, I would roll back into the heavy blanket to catch a few more minutes of sleep.
Perhaps some of what made Afghanistan feel so much like home is that it strengthened my ties to Islam. Through all of the violence in the country, parents have always told their kids – ‘have faith in God and be strong, war will pass.’ Whereas my family’s practice at home in the States seems private and personal, in Afghanistan, it’s woven into everyday life.
I don’t normally wear hijab and cover my head…but I wore it everyday in Kabul. When I got to the San Francisco airport, a customs agent glanced at my passport and asked where I’d been. When I said, ‘Afghanistan’ he looked at my headscarf, now slipping down my greasy unwashed hair, and chuckled – ‘you can take that off now – you’re home.’ I didn’t respond, slowly wheeling my luggage cart to baggage claim and thinking about why the comment so bothered me. With one assumption, one stereotype, he shook the sense of belonging that was such a gift to find in my travels.
That moment reminded me that home will always be both here, and away.
- This essay was produced by Youth Radio's International
Desk, in association with National
Geographic.
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