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“Homophobia and Coming Out”
I was sick of people telling me that I was unsure and was too immature to know anything about my sexual orientation.
By Ohim Sheeme
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Ohim, A junior at Venice High School, has been out and proud about being gay since he was in the 8th grade. But recently, he "was given a wake up call" when he began a relationship with someone who is in the closet. In this piece, Ohim explores the relationship between homophobia and coming out as a gay teenager.
I never had anyone to talk to me about homophobia nor the does and don’ts in terms of religion and what is acceptable in society. I was raised to love, and so that I did. I was aware of people’s reaction to homosexuality, however I was never appalled by it. I always knew people had an opinion and they wouldn’t force themselves to keep it back. I knew what I wanted and no one could tell me that I can’t have it nor I didn’t really want it. I was sick of people telling me that I was unsure and was too immature to know anything about my sexual orientation. I questioned my sexuality in 5th grade, and in 8th grade I was sure of it.
I’ve taken in to consideration that anyone can fall in love with anybody. Yet it struck my heart with pride and emotion to say I was gay in middle school. I never found myself to hide in fear of homophobia, nor did I let it take any affect on me. In 9th grade I was proud to walk around school flaunting myself to any welcomed new comer that joined my band of friends. Even when I changed schools and had no friends, I gladly made myself at home, joining the schools GSA and Project 10 meetings. I Made friends who, not only, welcomed me to their proud family, but taught me a few things about my identity and myself.
When I came out of the closet my friends were more so interested than shocked. They pleaded for answers to questions that simply made me snicker. After that day I got a since of placement and joy being around them. But more and more I felt hostility grow at home. I hadn’t told my mom nor did I have plans to. However she knew. I had no secrets with her. She knew the second I did and she wasn’t happy about it. I eventually told her in the middle of an argument and I was later on kicked out of the house only to return several months later.
When I had my first boyfriend it never occurred to me that maybe I should take it slow and not rush into pride and public display of affection. I was able to walk out onto the street and hold hands proudly knowing that it may have some horrendous affect on people. I knew I had an identity and I knew no one could alter it but myself. And I wasn’t about to let someone change how I felt about myself just because they found it unnatural. I was gay and no one could tell me that I wasn’t.
Being in that state of mind for so long, I never really understood what it was like to be in the closet nor did I want to. I just knew what it was like to stand curiously in the doorway and proudly out. But after a couple of years of being out, I was given a wake up call, one that woke me up to reality. I was given an opportunity to learn something from someone so dear. I learned what affect homophobia had on those who were in the closet. Then I began to understand that maybe all this flaunting and foolishness is not about pride of sexuality but pride of identity. It was dignity redefined. I didn’t need to show the world that I was gay. Nor do I. If I want someone to know I’ll tell them. But at this point I think its gone to far. I’m so use to just being happy but just showing my affection.
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