photo: Lew57/ BY

Talking about sex to teens is always hard because there are times when teens know more than what they should. But, is promoting abstinence to them realistic?

Apparently, to a Republican senator it is. Senator Orrin Hatch from Utah proposed a bill that would provide $50 million per year through 2014 for abstinence education programs. These funds are to be used specifically for abstinence programs and not on any other sex-ed subjects (like contraception).

Teens and abstinence, I’m not sure. I’m not saying teens can’t stop having sex, but growing up in time where sex is everywhere—TV, cartoons, school—it’s hard.

To help unpack this issue, Youth Radio spoke to Tatiana Colon, Director of Education & Youth Services of Family Violence Law Center (FVLC) in Oakland.

“Promoting or teaching abstinence to teens—like the ones we work with (urban kids)—are not effective.” She went on to say, “It’s not meeting teens where they are at.”

As a young person who has been out of high school for almost three years, I agree with Colon. Teens feel pressure to have sex and are planning on losing their V card (virginity) at prom or any big school function/ event. The whole concept of leaving school with a bang includes sex.

But young people are not low key about their sexual activities. For example, kids at a middle school in Colorado were wearing different color bracelets where each color represented a different sexual activity. If a guy pops a girl’s bracelet, the girl has to follow through sexually.

I understand the necessity of this bill, but it’s simply not realistic. Telling a young person “no more sex” is simply going to make them more curious, so that the next time it won’t be just bracelets. Colon says that she is not familiar with the new bill, but says, to get through to a teen, try promoting healthy relationships. “Ultimately, it would be ideal to teach teens not to give in to pressure.” She says she will stand behind abstinence when teens agree with it and are ready, but as of right now she says we have to stand with their needs—and that means sexual safety.

Colon says teens should know these questions: “When are you ready? Is my partner going to be respectful about that? And when I’m ready, am I going to be safe? One thing can’t happen without the other. At some point teens will be ready for sexual relationships, and they need to know how to do it safely.”