This past weekend was Valentine’s Day, and I felt that everyone was going crazy finding the “perfect gift,” so I decided to do something old-fashioned. I made some dark chocolate heart-shaped cake and muffins for my boyfriend since he loves dark chocolate.
While I was baking, I had a weird feeling. On the one hand, I was happy that I could manage to make something tasty without burning it. On the other hand, I realized that I was doing something that the stereotypically perfect 50s housewife or a present-day mom from my Mexican heritage would do. The reason that I felt weird is that some people in my culture, especially those of the older generation, argue that women should just be housewives. But the younger crowd thinks that women should do everything BUT cook. They think that if you go to college you can be educated and nothing else. I personally don’t want to believe that as true; it seems so limiting. I want to have the best of all worlds and be well educated and also know how to cook and do whatever else I want to.
Baking the cake this weekend made me think about what’s important to me. I found the creativity involved rewarding. I think it’s in my nature to like making unique things. Even in fashion I never like to be compared to others, so I make my own shirts or alter my clothing. Similarly, I want the gifts I make for my friends and family to be special, personal, and creative—in other words, an expression of who I am.
One of my guy friends agrees and says that he is attracted to a woman who knows what she wants out of life, regardless of the form that goal takes. He said that he doesn’t want his girlfriend to stay home and do nothing, but if she decides to stay at home, she should at least be self-sufficient enough to cook. While I might not agree with the scope of choices he has for women, I do think that he’s got it right when he says that having a creative vision makes a person attractive.
I am aiming to do what I want not for solely to win the attention of a guy, but primarily for myself. In a way, it’s both being feminist and at the same time not.