photo: DjSemtex/ BY-NC-SA

As you all know, there are many great rap artists in the world. Lupe Wayne, drake, snoop, I could go on. And, as you also know, there are even more weak ones. You know those artists you listen to and wonder….”Who signed them?” I could name at least 20 whack rappers, but I’m just going to award the top 3. Let’s start with number three, the best of the worst. Now, this award was going to show to someone like Gucci mane or OJ the juice man, (who, over their careers, showed no signs of improvement), but yes, there are worse. I’m going to recognize this rapper, who over the years actually has gotten worse, 50 cent! The award goes to you with this famous quote from “just a lil bit”. “Baby, all I need is a little bit, a little bit of this, a little bit of that, get it crackin’ in the club when you hear that. Drop it like it’s hot, get to whipping that back” yea. I think he forgot, about rhyming’ on the track. He talks like he doesn’t want to say his words. How are you going to be a rapper that’s too lazy to talk? That’s what rapping is; talking!!! Anyway, this next one goes to my favorite rapper to laugh at when he performs onstage. Sorry, soulja boy, this is not for you.

Young Jeezy snatched it with this quote right here from “side effects” “hey magnifico or should I say magnificent? Ain't nothing worth your happiness, and I ain't caring who you're with, misery loves company so we ain't trying' to hang with you all, hurt you if you let 'em in, gotta keep you sucker smiling keep trying' to play I tell him I ain't blowing' though think they want me outta here, I tell 'em I ain't going' though side effects be drowsiness, loneliness, how is this? I think the call it hateration, what can you prescribe for this?” I don’t know what you can prescribe for hateration. What can you prescribe for “no-flow”? Now, the moment we’ve all been waiting for. Thee official “worst rapper alive” award goes to….Shawty lo! Congratulations, the wackest of the year. I know what you’re thinking. How could you beat the two quotes from the other rappers and actually be famous? I was torn between two quotes, so I’m doing both. This first one is from “so fly” remix. “I’m so fly, all around the world; you can get Shawty all over your girl. Shawty been fly, you can ask her, Shawty been fine, Shawty so superb. A-e-i, i-o-u? Sometimes y that can’t be true, I flip them verbs like I flip them birds. Yea and in the bed I flip them words...” Flip them “verbs”. But a-e-i-o-u? Those are vowels you’re flippin’. Second, from “dey know remix” “yeeeaaaahhh shawty lo and the big cats yeaaaahhhh it's the remix so bring ya top hat(eh) what ya talking bout it's l-o I rap now it's rap skizzo thirty bands... Fo shizzo eight balls same price as the kilo I’m a boss ya'll know my b-i and I got them same kinda guns like T.I. see I been that way since knee high real dope boyz so you know I trap or dizzi
no lizzi I’m hizzi like kells I believe I can flizzi and yeaaaahhhh I’ll see you later big ups... To all my haters!” Nice. To all my other weak rappers, sorry I didn’t recognize you. I see y’all. Kanye, Gucci, I see y’all. Soulja boy, I see ya. Omarion, stick to singing.