photo: berendbotje54/ BY

Ever since I was little, my mother always told me and my sister to stay in school and become something great in life. Because of my mom’s encouragement, I have set many goals for myself:  I want to move out of my parents house within the next two years, become a registered nurse by the age of 23, and then travel the world before I settle down in my late 20s.

But had I been born two generations earlier, things would have been much different for me, as for most women. This October, NBC will air a series looking at the changing roles of women in the United States. I think that the state of women in the U.S. is an important topic to discuss, especially since so many are now working and contributing to the economy in tangible, measurable ways. And while collecting data is important, collecting stories and memories of one's family is more so.  Whenever I feel that I have too much on my plate and that my world is in chaos, I always look back at what my mother and grandmothers went through when they were growing up. I feel like my problems are nothing compared to what they went through.

The older women in my family have had to struggle a lot. My great-grandmother, Felizitas, and all seven of her siblings were orphaned in Mexico when she was only 12. As the oldest, my great-grandmother had to raise her siblings on her own. She often had to look for food in the streets. Then, she got married to an abusive man at the age of fourteen and ended up giving birth to fourteen children. Seven of those children died at birth. Among the seven surviving kids was my grandma, Guadalupe. She ended up as a single mother of two because her husband had left her. She had my mother, Martha, followed by my Uncle Luis. She had to work hard to raise both of her kids, but she was able to make it happen with the help of my great-grandmother.

The one thing that I have noticed about the older generation of women in my family is that, despite their struggles, they never gave up on their children or pushed them aside. Most importantly, they never put a man before there kids. Even though my great grandmother was in a abusive relationship and my grandmother’s husband left her, they both kept on going and lived for their children. 

My mom, Martha, is the product of those struggles. She was lucky to have a wonderful childhood. She never had to work for things growing up. In fact, she recalls being quite spoiled—every week, she would get new clothes and shoes. But, all that attention didn’t make her weak. She still had an immense respect for her mother and grandmother. In fact, she said she never missed having a father figure in her life because her role models were so strong.

So when it came down to my siblings and me, we had it relatively easy. We grew up in a very close and loving family. My parents are still together, and both of them work hard to give us everything we need and want. Of course, we’ve never had luxuries and fancy things, but still, my parents sacrificed a lot to meet our needs.

I am very happy and blessed to know I was born in a family full of strong women because it inspires me to become a better person. I know if I ever have troubles I can talk to any of them and they will help me in a heartbeat. Because of these women, I have learned to become more independent and to rely on no one but myself. I follow what I think is right and I don’t fall prey to peer pressure. I don’t follow the crowd; instead, I am my own leader. In the process, I’ve learned to think about and lead others.

If I have a daughter in the future, I would want the best for her as well. I would want her to see me as a strong dependable woman, and a friend—someone she can talk to when she has problems. I would want her to succeed in life by setting goals for herself and accomplishing them. I would like for her to carry herself as a confident young lady and not be afraid to take chances and fight for what she believes in.

And most importantly, I would tell her about the stories of the important woman in our family so she could carry that knowledge with her. I would hope those stories would help her throughout her life just as they are helping me with mine.