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Our President Almost Died Choking On a Pretzel
Listen
to this poem!
By Josh Begley, winner of the 2003 Youth Speaks Grand Slam Poetry Finals
As the headlines inked paper
Presses spin quicker than the tables can turn upon an imperialistic agenda
Jeb gave brother Georgie an early birthday present
Just a small gift, you know, about the size of Florida
Anyway, little Georgie was very grateful, and rightfully so
And though the faithful could never truly know,
A month or so later, they’re saying “Yes, sir,” to a presidential
faker
A squatter in the White House with still a little trace of blow on the edge
of his nose
The only little boy to get rejected from Texas but accepted to Yale
An indeterminate sign as he continued to fail his way out of and into a school
and a venue
Painted white on the outside but internally governed green
The kind of scene that is seen in candy factories
A sugar coated outside that doesn’t coincide with true moral value or
pride as it rides, glides and then hides
Frightened by the left side
The liberally directed kind
But enough about elections
what is stolen cannot be retrieved by beings who perceive governmental action
as populational backing
When in reality it’s an ulterior motive for bill stacking
Keeping those in fear so they can no longer question
There’s no time to oppose Bush
Our country’s in a recession
It’ll be the next Great Depression
And we’re lawfully required to worry
While the line on First Amendment Rights is continuing to get more blurry
A so-called Patriot Act to stop all those terrorist attacks
You know, the ones done by those cats living in Iraq with Saddam and Osama
The ones you help to bomb more bombs when you blaze your marijuana
But your honor, the media is telling me all this mess
Why would I be scared of having a bullet hole in my chest
Every hour on the hour networks force-feed news into my head
Telling me every 15 minutes that today’s terror alert is now code red
I mean they said other things about how good Britney sings and how I should
buy her new album
And how the Lakers beat the Kings
But in between the media brings these new things about how I should live
How I shouldn’t go to college and how I should join the Marines instead
But back to the thoughts up in my head, man they keep circlin’ around
this guy Bush
And how I say “beats not bombs” and how like Grouch I’ll just
persevere and push
Most of the time because this country’s in turmoil
The even whacker part being that it’s for some f#*$ bins of oil
The kind that have my brain in toil because the ozone’s continually warming
While G-dub’s saying screw the environment and chopping trees without
a warning
The bees are swarming, and the educated few will make it sting
Seeking revolution and not resolution as the phone in the oval office rings
It’s Saddam
“Hey George, do you want to have a formal debate?”
The kind where you yourself will show the people about the American nation-state?
We as Americans preach the concept of self-determination and then impress the
tenets of Western civilization
It’s a hypocrisy that won’t even obey the United Nations
Going unilaterally into countries like it was our prerogative to take a vacation
The time is wasting
The time is wasting
My mind is fading
George is out on the golf course playing 18 putting on the green with his new
caddy saying, “You better watch out Mr. Hussein…
This one is for my Daddy
He didn’t get it done before 92 so I’m coming after you.”
S*%@ dude, shoot GW!
He’s the one who should die and then decay
Or let him and Saddam go at it fist to fist like they used to back in the day
Something, man please, I’m beggin you on my knees, it’s about to
be cultural cessation
We keep talking about regime change — overthrow the Bush administration!
Our nation's future is a powder keg here about to boil like water inside a kettle
So even though he stole the White House, used his brother to get on top
George W. Bush needs to get the f*%k out of Iraq
The time goes tick tock
I like to see him die by a bush of stinging nettles
But f*#k that, this s*%t is easier than that
Just give his dumb ass a bag of pretzels
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