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Finding Truth in the War
"The mission kept changing. It went from this is a war, to this is a peace keeping mission, to okay, we're just going to establish democracy."
By Nicole Goodwin
After coming home from Iraq, young soldiers often find themselves looking back on their experiences, and trying to understand their role in the conflict. It’s a complicated process, especially now that the U.S. administration seems to be re-evaluating its own optimistic goals about post-war democracy. Army Private Nicole Goodwin, who’s been back in the U.S. for more than a year, is thinking about the ripple effects of the war in her own life, and with respect to global politics. Her daughter was just a baby when Nicole was deployed to Iraq.
When I was in Iraq, there were so many conflicts within me. I mean, one day, I'll be thinking, “Wow, this is gonna be in the history books,” and I'll have a sense of pride and belief that I contributed to something greater than myself. And the next day, I'll be thinking about the same thing, but it'll be a sense of dread. Because you have no idea what history is gonna say about you being over there.
And the mission kept changing. It went from this is a war, to this is a peace keeping mission, to okay, we're just going to establish democracy.
So I just had to put my visors on, and focus on the one thing that kept me going, which was getting back to my daughter, and being the mother I wanted to be.
You have to go into survival mode when you're there, because we never asked ourselves one thing, "Did these people want our help?" And I'm not sure if they did.
You know, when you see six-year-old children, going, "Misses, misses, dollar dollar," begging for money, and having to hustle, and then you see some people laboring and bringing in your port-o-potties. And then there are other people who have wealth and cologne and sweet smelling oils, who are probably wealthier than you, and then you see a man with an education who can't even better himself. You really have to wonder, how much are we alike, and how much are we different.
But all I can say is, I tried to find some truth in all that was happening. And that's just something I want my daughter to look at, when she reads about me or someone else in the history books. And take everybody's side of this story. And formulate the truth for herself.
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