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Across the Spectrum
"I know I love another girl. But does this make me gay or bisexual... Or something I’m not even aware of yet? [...] I want to confide in someone, but I’m afraid they’ll judge me if I do."
By Jennifer Starck
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Young people often question their sexuality throughout high school and college. Youth Radio's Jennifer Starck is no different, and wonders how she should define herself...and her attraction to other women.
There is a particular question that bounces around in my head like a ball in a fierce game of ping pong. It’s a question that plagues many teenagers’ minds at some time or another: the question being, “What is my sexuality? Am I gay? Maybe, maybe not."
But I do know enough about myself to know I am not straight. And then I think about my mother’s reaction when I told her. Like most other adults, she thought it was a phase. But for those of us who are questioning our sexuality, it isn’t. Being in this situation can be frustrating, scary even.
I know I love another girl. Does this make me gay or bisexual... Or something I’m not even aware of yet? Perhaps there is another word to describe me. I want to confide in someone, but I’m afraid they’ll judge me if I do.
I guess the thing about questioning, is that you don’t really know how to define yourself. Because being gay can be considered taboo, many teens keep guessing for a while before they actually figure it out. I keep having feelings for women. Why? As of now, I consider myself “pansexual,” defined as exhibiting many forms of sexual expression.
This description fits.
But I still wonder what my sexual identity really is, or perhaps what it should be labeled.
- This commentary was produced by VOX Newspaper in Atlanta and Youth Radio.
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