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“My Pregnancy”
"When people see me they think that I’m another girl that ruined her life and that I was going to stop going to school."
By Anahi Canales
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Youth Radio’s Anahi Canales struggles with teen pregnancy. She faces those around her with the troubling issue. Other women that have been in her shoes say she’s ruining her life, but Anahi feels it’s the start of a new one.
When I found out that I was pregnant the only thing that passed through my mind was my parents and how I let them down. I didn’t know how they were going to react and what they were going to say. When I told my mom she was really disappointed and mad but she understood me and told me that I wasn’t alone. She said going to help me in everything she can. I felt better when my mom told me that she was always going to be by my side. I was afraid of telling my dad because I thought that he was going to kick me out of the house. When my mom told him I wasn’t there, and when he got home from work I was really scared and I was thinking the worst but everything turned out alright.
He just asked me what me and my boyfriend were going to do and at that moment I couldn’t think of anything. I couldn’t answer him. He then told me that he was going to help me in everything that he could and that we were all going to go through it together. After that I felt so much better and I knew that I was not alone in this pregnancy. When I told my boyfriend, he didn’t get mad and didn’t deny anything. When he talked to my parents he told them that he was going to stay with me and that he was going to take care of me and the baby. Most of my family members called me and told me that they were there for me and that if I needed something I could call them.
Even though all of my family was by my side I still felt really sad and I felt like it was the end of the world for me and nothing mattered anymore. Everyday that passed I just felt worse and it got to the point were I just wanted to be in my room and cry the whole day. I stopped putting on make up and wearing my regular clothes, all I wanted to wear was sweats and just a plain shirt. What made it worse was that physically I was not feeling good at all. Everything I ate would come back out.
My family noticed that I was really depressed and they all talked to me and tried to make me feel better. When I went back to school after winter break, I thought that I was going to feel better but in reality I didn’t. All I could think of was that I didn’t fit in anymore that I was different and that everyone was going to think the worst of me. What made it even harder was that I had all these symptoms. In class, I would feel bad but I was afraid to ask the teacher for permission to go to the restroom because they didn’t know what was going on with me. When I had physical problems with my pregnancy, I felt it was my fault. Eventually, I just stopped going to school. I was not doing well in my classes because I was absent a lot.
When people see me they think that I’m another girl that ruined her life and that I was going to stop going to school. They also think that my life is over and that I’m going to be like most girls that give up on their dreams and goals. Some women that went through what I’m going through try to scare me and make me feel bad because since they went through it and I guess that for them having the baby was a mistake they think that it’s going to be the same for me.
But what I say to them is…just because a lot of girls make it a mistake it doesn’t mean that I think of it as a mistake. Just because I’m pregnant it does not mean that I’m going to stop going to school and give up on my dreams and goals. Even though many women try to make me feel bad they just make me feel sorry for them because they don’t see the good things about having a baby. In some ways they want to make themselves believe that they were not the only ones that “ruined their lives” but they don’t know that for me it’s just the start of a new life not a mistake.
I decided to change to a school for pregnant teen girls. I think that changing schools was the best thing that I did. I felt like I wasn’t alone and that there were other girls that are going through the same thing I am. I’m taking this parenting class and I’m learning so many things about the babies and even about my self. I’m getting the idea of how my life is going to be when I have my baby and even though it doesn’t sound fun I think I’m going to be fine. Now I feel happy and exited, and I really thank god for giving me this baby. I also want to thank everybody that supports me and makes me feel better because if it wasn’t for them I don’t know how I would have gone through all of this. Now I just have to wait for probably the hardest part of the pregnancy and the beginning of a new different life.
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