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Changing Friendships
"I was able to break out of the shell my friends had me in and be Olivia Cueva, not just another GEM."
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By Olivia Cueva
You can learn a lot about friendship between junior high and high school.
I had the same best friends through elementary school and junior high. By 8th grade, we'd even formed our own girls group to talk about things like body image, relationships, and whatever problems we were having. We called ourselves the "GEMS," which stood for "Girls Empowerment Movement." We went everywhere together and knew everything about each other. Then boys came into the picture, and everything changed.
I remember one time in gym class, I was running laps and my friend's boyfriend came right up behind me. He and his friend got too close, so I elbowed them. I heard laughter from where my friends were sitting in the stands, and so I thought they were laughing at my defensive move.
Then someone told me my friends were really mad at me. When I walked up to them, they started yelling at me right in front of everyone, and got up in my face about flirting with their boyfriends. I was completely humiliated and felt defenseless, not to mention confused. Everybody was watching, but no one was on my side. I was too scared to stand up for myself, and I never even considered the idea that they were the bad friends, not me. The hurt and anger kept building up inside of me from all the times they had come down on me for flirting.
That year was mostly all drama. We started to turn against each other, and became more secretive. I remember hanging out with them on weekends and sometimes feeling like it didn't matter to them whether I was there or not. And depending on the current argument, any one of us could be the friend who was on everyone's bad side.
When I went to high school I had to learn how to be without my group of friends. I got to feel what it was like not to have them around 24/7. I liked not depending on them. I was able to break out of the shell my friends had me in and be Olivia Cueva, not just another GEM.
Most importantly, I became more aware of what kind of friends I should surround myself with. And I realize now that everyone can't always be your friend - even some of the people who feel closest to you.
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