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Dating Older Guys
"I always bring my boyfriends home because I want my parents to get to know the person I’m dating."
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By Denise Tejada
Age is nothing but a number when it comes to dating. I’m a 16-year-old girl and in the past I’ve dated guys who are two years older than me. Age is the last thing I pay attention to when I meet a guy.
When I was 15-years-old, I dated an 18-year-old. He would always bring me something and he was really sweet in general. Whenever he came to school to visit me, my friends would tell me how lucky I was. They would always ask me “Where did you find him?” The word “find” made it seem like I went looking for him, which wasn’t true. But yeah, I was lucky to be with him for a while. He was my boyfriend and my best friend and we’re still friends.
I like guys who are sure about what they are going to do in the future. Whenever I meet a guy, I ask him, “What are your plans after graduating?” I hope they say they’re going to college because it’s always a turn on. I don’t want to date someone who doesn’t want to have a career.
I usually tell my parents when I’m talking to a guy. They’re ok with me dating older guys. My dad tells me I can date whomever I want as long as my grades are good. He says I should go out with someone who is as smart as me or smarter; I think I’m doing a good job so far. My mom, on the other hand, still sees me as her “baby girl” and she thinks I should wait with dating. My dad tells her to let me loose. In general, my parents are very strict. But as I’m getting older, they’re giving me more freedom.
I always bring my boyfriends home because I want my parents to get to know the person I’m dating. Once I could tell my boyfriend was nervous when he came over, because he gave me looks. When my parents left us alone, he asked me if he was doing a good job. I told him to be himself. But my dad can be intimidating. He asked him “What are you doing now? Do your parents know about your relationship with Denise? How’s school? What are your plans for the future?” Most of my boyfriends have been cool with it… It doesn’t bother me because a guy needs to know what kind of family he’s up against. Once a guy meets my parents, he’ll have more respect for our relationship. They’ll think more, and take both the relationship and me more seriously.
My dad wants me to invite my friends and boyfriends over to hang out at our house, instead of going out. We have a nice backyard with a basketball hoop, an air hockey table, and stereo system SO my friends feel welcome and part of our family. That way, my parents won’t have to worry about where we are and what we’re doing.
Talking to older guys can get tricky sometimes… If you want some advice, listen up. First, don’t ever go up to a guy expecting to get something out of it. Don’t get shy around a cute guy, go up to him and talk as friends first. Don’t show too much interest because it might be a turn off for him. Be goofy – don’t be boring because you will never get far with him. At the same time, try to show your mature side. For example, mention college and what you want to do in the future. College guys or just older guys in general don’t want girls who don’t have plans for their lives. When you are trying to ask something about his college, make sure that goes with the conversation, otherwise he might feel like he’s taking a questionnaire, instead of having a conversation.
Sometimes teenagers get excited when it comes to cars, money, and age, but sometimes these things can get you in trouble. Luxury is not everything – at least to me it isn’t. Yes, one of my ex-boyfriends had a car but it wasn’t a big deal because I hardly ever asked him to drive me places. I ask my older brother to drive me places all the time.
My ex-boyfriend would always say “I could go to jail for being with you.” It was a joke for us because we weren’t committing a crime. I had my parents’ approval, so when we went on dates there were no worries. It was my decision to go out with him, and I don’t see anything wrong with it. I didn’t worry about getting him in trouble. A girl has to have her limits. Kissing is fine, but I wouldn’t allow it to go any further.
You’d assume older guys would be better for long-term relationships. All guys use lines, for example “I love you”, to get more than a kiss. I still think that older guys are more worth my time. Still, don’t believe everything they say. Don’t get confused and think he’s the right one for you. I’ve dated three older guys – they treated me nice and bought me stuff, but I’m still waiting for the right one to come along.
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