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Overprotected by Love
"I know her overprotectiveness comes from a place of love, and history."
By Karime Blanco
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to this Commentary!
Youth Radio's Karime Blanco has a strong relationship with her mother, but she can't shake the feeling that sometimes, her mother doesn't trust her choices about going out at night with friends. This type of conflict is nothing new to a lot of mothers and daughters, and can often end in tears. But instead of fighting with her mother, Karime looks into her mother's past for answers...and ends up staying home on the occasional Friday night. (July 27 on KQED)
When I was a little girl, my mom would preach equality to me. Mija, she would say, eres una individual, pero aun no eres mejor, definitivamente no eres peor que alguna otra persona. You are an individual, but even so you are no better, and definitely no worse than any other person. I’ve always held onto her words but some inconsistencies have made me doubt her.
Once, when I was going to the movies with a group of friends, my mom asked, "Are there going to be any boys?" she asked sternly. I said no. "Hmm...OK," she said. "Call me if anything changes." We ended up picking up three or four guy friends, so I called my mother and told her some boys were going with us. "Oh good, I was getting worried," she said. That’s when I realized my mother thinks I need to be in a guy’s company to be safe.
I know her overprotectiveness comes from a place of love, and history. When
she was a young girl in Mexico, her mother died and her father left the family soon afterwards. My mother had to take care of herself AND her ten brothers and sisters, and protect them the way she’s protecting me now.
I love my mother. I just wish she could recognize I’m capable of making my own decisions. I have enough common sense to know to not to wear a miniskirt when I’m late at night, to have a friend with me, and not to put myself in potentially dangerous situations.
Now that I’m a senior in high school, and hoping this is my last year of living at home, my mom and I are finding ways to compromise. When she disapproves of my going out, we talk it out. I’m more likely to change my plans if she wants me to stay home and watch a movie with her. But if I feel she’s just being overprotective, I ask her what time she wants me to come home, and we leave it at that.
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