She's Gone

"Deep down we always knew - even after I pushed her down the stairs and she threw the remote control in my face - we had each other's backs."

By Quincy Mosby

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The transition from high school to college is an exciting one for the young students who are leaving. But what about their loved ones who are staying behind? Youth Radio's Quincy Mosby's little sister has graduated from high school and is headed to Sacramento for college. Her recent departure has Quincy reflecting on just how much his sister is a part of himself.

I was looking across the table at my younger sister Terralynn a few weeks ago, and like a brick to the face it hit me: she's really leaving. I've known my sister was going away to college for the better part of a year now. But now that she's gone, I find it hard to stop thinking about her.

Terralynn Anisa Navor Shanetta Shaboc Mosby was born August 15, 1988 - two years after me. Terralynn and I have always been close. When she misbehaved and got a whipping from our mother, I cried for her. At the doctor's office, they had to hold my sister back from beating up the doctor if she thought he was trying to give me a shot.

In a way, it makes no sense that Terralynn and I are so close, because we're so different. She's loud, pushy, quick-tempered, and sometimes just impossible. I remember my mom busting into our room when we were kids, and screaming at the top of her lungs, "What is wrong with you two? I swear! You fight like cats and dogs!"

Maybe to people on the outside it looked like we hated each other. But deep down we always knew - even after I pushed her down the stairs and she threw the remote control in my face - we had each other's backs.

Once Terralynn and I became teenagers, we didn't hang out quite as much because we were too busy sorting out who we were as individuals. But the thing that held us together was that we lived in the same house. Even though I wasn't always ecstatic when she came in my room without knocking, if the first words out of her mouth were, "Can we talk?" I listened.

I guess the biggest reason I'm so disturbed by her leaving for college is because we've never really been apart. In fact, I don't think my sister and I have even gone two weeks without seeing each other.

Now all of a sudden she's going to be living hours away. What am I going to do without her there to ask the girl I have over, "Are you Jessica or Paige?" - when the girl's name is actually "Monica."

Terralynn tells me now that she's gone, I should enjoy my privacy. But the truth is, I'm dreading the weeks ahead. If I had my way, she would have stayed here, building forts and eating junk food with me. That's not happening. And I know I have to get used to not seeing her every day.

During the last few weeks she was at home, we talked more than we have in years. Without her being able to bust into my room, we might not have many more opportunities like that.

Terralyn and I have moved around so much, we're used to losing friendships, and have gotten ridiculously good at letting people go. I just worry that if we lose touch, when my sister finally comes home, we'll be such different people that even Twinkies won't be able to bring us back together.