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Life Lessons
"I feel like I created a safe zone for her, where she could ask questions and get informed answers."
By Karime Blanco
Although censorship may be directed towards the well being of children, there are some lessons that have to be learned. I do agree that there are some things that shouldn’t be revealed to young children until they reach a certain level of personal maturity. At that point in time they can deal with the information.
Even though it may be uncomfortable, maybe even embarrassing, for adults to talk to young children about their bodies and sexuality it’ll save them from a lot of confusion. When I was talking to a 10 year old girl that I tutor, she told me, “I heard that you can get your period anytime, so I’m going to steal some of my mom’s pads and wear them, you know just to be safe.”
I wasn’t so startled at the fact that such a young child would be thinking about this, but I was surprised that she hadn’t learned about it. So I did what any other liberal teen would do and pulled out my handy dandy vagina diagram and explained to her exactly what a period was, the process and where it went through.
I got the uninformed answer of “wow, I thought it was the bag that babies are in, coming out.” She seemed shy at first, but then she warmed up to the fact that she could talk about these things. Pretty soon she started asking me questions and surprised me with how much she knew about sex, and how little she knew about her own body.
I realized that all of her older references were either too young to recognize that there are some things that you just don’t share with a little girl, or too old to know how to talk to one. That night I was talking to my mom about my experience with the little girl and she pointed out that is the little girl hadn’t learned about these things, then maybe her mom didn’t want her to know yet.
To tell the truth, I really didn’t care if the girl’s mom approved or not because I didn’t teach her anything vulgar, all I taught her was the functions of her own body. I feel like I created a safe zone for her, where she could ask questions and get informed answers.
Once again, I do feel that some things need to be kept from children until they are able to thoroughly understand them, but you can’t keep a child from exploring something that’s right in front of them, especially their own body. I was a little nervous the next time I was tutoring the little girl and her mom came in, but immediately she asked me if she could talk to me.
I stepped outside walked cautiously expecting an angry mother, but when she turned around I saw the worry lines of a distraught mother. I was confused and just waited for her to tell me what this private session was about when she told me that something was wrong with her daughter, that she doesn’t talk to her anymore, and she looks like she’s sad all the time.
She asked me if I could find out, but I already knew. I told her, “She’s been having some questions about her body lately, maybe she’s just curious, you should talk to her.” She looked confused until I explained to her the whole situation and what her daughter had asked me the past week. She looked relieved and I’m guessing it worked because she didn’t come back in later.
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