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ABC: American Born Chinese
"I hate being seen as 'fake' Chinese because I’m ABC."
By Christina Kwong
I sign up for every teen program that focuses on Asian American youth. So you’d think that answering what generation I am would be easy. But it’s not. I don’t feel comfortable saying second generation or third generation, so I just say I’m 2.5 generation.
It’s a complicated equation, but this is how I figured it out. My mom was born in Hong Kong, so I’m first generation on her side of the family. But my dad is second generation because his mom was born in America although his family is from China. So that makes me 2.5 generation.
I’m not the only teen with a complicated history and a complicated identity...meet 17-year-old Gaby Arvizu whose parents are Mexican immigrants.
GABY (on tape)
Well I think I am the second but…I mean sometimes I do think that I am the third but I really think I am the second, I still really don’t know. It’s kind of confusing sometimes, but I think I’m the second.
CHRISTINA
What’s even more confusing is dealing with homework and people at school on top of figuring out your cultural identity. If I was just “American,” I wouldn’t have to think about if I’m Asian or Asian American or Chinese or Chinese American. I could just be a regular teenager.
But what do you do when American values clash with the values of your family? If you please your parents, you’re unhappy, but if you don’t please them, they’re unhappy. You can’t win. Gaby always runs into these problems.
GABY (on tape)
I don’t know, they see things different than, like, the way I see it. You know, they kinda, I don’t know, they see things a lot more different. Like I want to do something that I don’t think is a big deal, but they do. They’re like, oh no, you shouldn’t do that. But I think it kinda relates to how they grew up.
CHRISTINA
And how a parent grows up means everything in terms of how they treat you, their kid. When my dad was growing up in the U.S., he really wanted to learn Chinese, but he never did. He could only say “hi” and “how are you?”
DAD (on tape)
Actually my older brothers went to Chinese school and because we did still have kind of like a large Chinese community where my parents lived, we lived in Sacramento, but I guess as we went more into business and there were more brothers and sisters we started to assimilate more to the American culture it turned out to be easier for us to speak English rather than go to Chinese school. And a lot of times the Chinese school was really for the kids to play and not really a full educational-type system.
CHRISTINA
It’s funny. I speak Chinese better than my dad. He’s proud of that. He wants me to learn the language and sound like a native. But I always mix in English words, and that gives me problems at school. People who are immigrants are one clique and people born in the U.S. with immigrant parents are a different group…they are ABC’s or American Born Chinese. That’s the clique I’m in, but I hate being seen as “fake” Chinese because I’m ABC.
My friend Henry was born in China, but he isn’t in either clique. He doesn’t really fit in with the ABC kids or the Chinese kids.
HENRY (on tape)
But I’m like I am like… I guess…what you can call diverse. I spend more time with different types of people. Really and I don’t do the whole … I don’t what you called…the thing where you clasp your hands together and do the whole bowing thing and the incense and everything…
CHRISTINA
Henry is Christian, not Buddhist, so many Chinese rituals don’t apply to him. At school, he can’t relate to Chinese kids who wear the popular Buddha charm. He has the same problem at home, where he can’t relate to his mom after living in the U.S. for so long. Over the years, he’s gotten frustrated after trying to describe simple things, like his experience at summer camp.
HENRY (on tape)
I was like, I just was trying to find the words and I couldn’t so I ended up telling my sister and then my sister tried to translate.
Christina: So you don’t really talk to your mom then?
Henry: Not recently. Not what might be considered in most American families as a healthy relationship like where you talk about your day and how you are feeling and all that. A while ago, she used to say something about how she should speak to me in English and I should speak to her in Cantonese, so we both, through that, can learn how to speak more fluently. But that never really worked out because then it slowed down all our conversations and it would make the day really slow because we will always have to correct each other.
CHRISTINA (on tape)
Henry and I are total extremes in the immigrant teen experience. I’m really connected to Chinese culture and he’s really disconnected, except he does sometimes watch Chinese shows.
I do everything. I speak the language. I watch the shows, I listen to Chinese music, and I even think in a Chinese way. I can’t even believe that I agree with most Chinese parents that teenagers shouldn’t date before they turn 18.
My parents don‘t really need to tell me what they want from me…I’ve instilled their Chinese values in myself. But my mind and heart are both Chinese and American, no labels necessary.
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