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Girl Kissers
"I don’t think this phenomena reflects an open-minded society ready to embrace the LGBT community. To me, it reflects a power structure controlled by the superficial desires of straight men."
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By Sophia Chakos-Leiby
"Girl kissers" is a term that refers to the phenomenom of women who enjoy kissing other women, but don't consider themselves lesbians. Youth Radio's Sophia Chakos-Leiby discusses how television exploits girls kissing other girls and what is really at stake with the trendy girl kissing bandwagon. "All that Hollywood hype around girl kissing devalues the true love and attraction that women can feel for each other."
A recent study published in The New York Times says that same-sex experimentation among women has increased 7 percent since 1992. Although this report is making headlines in the mainstream media, it doesn’t surprise me and I doubt that sexual experimentation is really on the rise like the numbers say. Maybe women are just more comfortable admitting it now.
They sure seem to be on TV shows. Hollywood producers realize that these make-out sessions equal big money. These days, there’s nothing more stylish than the lesbian lip-locks featured on “The Gilmore Girls” and “One Tree Hill” on the WB network. Is it just a coincidence that FOX’s hit show “The O.C.”, about life in Orange County, featured a kiss between Marissa and Alex during sweeps week? I’m not so sure.
It’s way more socially acceptable for girls to hook-up with girls than it is for guys to kiss other guys. That’s nothing new. We’ve all heard the college horror stories of drunken frat boys cheering on girls as they make out at a party. But have we ever heard of sorority girls cheering on a couple of boys as they kiss in front of a crowd? And why aren’t Ryan and Seth making out on FOX Thursday nights during prime time?
Those stories - not to mention television’s exploitation of girls kissing other girls - definitely represent how society sensationalizes, and makes money, off of women’s sexuality. I don’t think this phenomena reflects an open-minded society ready to embrace the LGBT community. To me, it reflects a power structure controlled by the superficial desires of straight men.
I identify as straight - whatever that means - but I’ve hooked-up with plenty of women. Some of the girls I’ve kissed were friends, others were more serious. I definitely never made out with another woman as a form of “sexy rebellion” like Marissa did on “The O.C.” To be honest, ever since my high school days, most of my peers considered sexual experimentation normal.
But I recently found out that I may be a “girl kisser.” This term refers to the phenomena of women who – you got it – kiss girls but don’t have serious relationships with women. Girl kissers aren’t “real” lesbians, and the label has a somewhat derogatory connotation in the lesbian community. When I heard it, I felt a little surprised and even hurt. I never thought that lesbian women would look down on straight or bisexual women just because we are also attracted to the ladies.
At the same time, I kinda’ understand why some in the lesbian community are suspicious of us. From a social perspective, we get the best of both worlds: we sexually experiment with women, but still keep heterosexual privilege and don’t have to deal with the identity politics of the LGBT community. To make matters worse, all that Hollywood hype around girl kissing devalues the true love and attraction that women can feel for each other.
In dealing with sexuality, no one’s choices are “wrong,” but where do you draw the line between homosexuality, sexual experimentation and just jumping on the trendy girl kissing bandwagon? And in the process, whose lifestyle and identity is at stake?
Bottom line, while the women of our generation may be more experimental with sex – or simply more open about experimentation – we still have a long way to go until we look past gender, see a person, and fall in love.
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