Youth Radio - Topic: Gay Rights

Standing Up For Gay Rights

rgee — Fri, 04 Nov 2011 17:55:49 -0500

This story was originally published on L.A. Youth.

By Kristy Plaza

*To protect his privacy, the name of Kristy’s friend has been changed.

At my school same-sex couples are welcome to every school dance. The administration is trying to create an open-minded environment, but the reality is that not all students at my school are tolerant. There are guys who call my gay friend Tom* offensive things like “you stupid, sick fag” whenever they see him. He told me that even though now he doesn’t care what “a bunch of idiots” think, the attacks used to make him sad. But during high school he decided he wouldn’t let the words hurt him anymore. Whenever I hear stuff like this I think, “Why is there such hatred in this world?”

We’re seniors now, but people have been picking on Tom since middle school because of his high-pitched voice and how he giggles a lot. I was frustrated by how he was treated. Gay or straight, everyone can be hurt by words and we all deserve kindness and respect. I eventually realized that if I didn’t stand up for gay rights, then I’d be just as bad as those who make fun of people who are gay. So sophomore year I signed up for my school’s Gay-Straight Alliance—a club for gay and straight students to combat the homophobia gays face.

When my best friend, Angie, and I walked into our first meeting there were about 15 people writing on pieces of paper. The advisor, Dr. Brown, told Angie and me that everyone was writing questions that they were too embarrassed to ask out loud. I was surprised that kids were embarrassed to ask questions. Since it’s common at my school to hear students use “fag” and “that’s so gay” as an insult, it seemed like it took courage to join GSA. After the other students wrote their questions, Dr. Brown put them in a box and pulled out many that asked how someone should come out to their parents.

Everyone sat in an awkward silence for about a minute shifting their gazes from the ceiling to the floor. I said that even though I’m straight, I thought that you should tell your parents, but only if you’re prepared for the consequences, like getting kicked out of the house. It would be better to know if your family would accept you for who you are. No one said anything for a minute.

A boy shared his fear of coming out

Then another student said that he was almost certain his parents wouldn’t accept him when he came out. But he was tired of keeping his secret and decided that he would tell them anyway because he had learned to accept himself. (A few months later, after he came out, he shared how he was surprised that his parents were supportive and accepted him for who he was.)

A girl then shared that she knew her parents wouldn’t understand because of their religion. She told us her mom referred to homosexuality as “disgusting.” She would just nod when her parents expressed their views on homosexuality, and would sometimes later cry in her room. When I heard her story, I understood why she didn’t come out to her parents and realized that coming out was more complicated than I had thought.

I thought it was only ignorant kids and teens who openly discriminated against homosexuals. But during a meeting at the beginning of junior year, a club member’s dad talked about the obstacles he had to overcome as a gay man. He shared what it was like having to quit his job because people gossiped about his sexuality. After he came out, some of his friends and relatives called him “faggot” and “homo” and no longer welcomed him in their homes. He said he felt like he was treated as if he had a deadly disease. But he endured the harassment because his immediate family supported him. I thought adults were more mature, but hearing about their cruelty made me tear up.

I recruited others to join

I think that since society is still not as accepting as it should be, I need to do whatever I can to promote tolerance. One day in P.E. some friends and I were talking about how people at school weren’t open-minded about sexuality. I brought up GSA and explained how it’s a great place to stand up for equality and four of them, two who are straight and two who are bisexual, joined.

The students at my school need to learn the tolerance our GSA promotes. When one guy says to another that he looks good, he feels like he has to immediately say, “No homo.” When I hear someone say that, I tell them, “Please don’t say that. It’s offensive and I’d appreciate it if you didn’t say things like that. Thanks.” I don’t explain to them why it’s offensive because I don’t think they would listen to me. I know that I may not be able to make them believe in gay rights the way that I do, but I still want them to stop saying hurtful things.

I know that some people think I’m a lesbian because I’m in GSA and also probably because I hug my female friends and kiss them on the cheek, which is how everyone in my family greets people. But I don’t care because I think it’s important for people to stand up for what they believe in, regardless of what anyone else might think. When there are class discussions related to same-sex marriage or people’s rights, I make sure to say everyone is entitled to equality. I want to help make sure that everyone is accepted because we all deserve it.

Gay Student Cut From Yearbook?

noah — Thu, 29 Apr 2010 15:34:43 -0500

Did a High School purge one of their lesbian students from her Senior yearbook?

That's the story out of Wesson Mississippi that is making the rounds today by way of the Jackson Free Press:

When Veronica Rodriguez opened Wesson Attendance Center's Yearbook on Friday, she didn't find a trace of her lesbian daughter Ceara Sturgis after a long battle with school officials to include a photo of her daughter wearing a tuxedo in the school's 2010 yearbook.

"They didn't even put her name in it," Sturgis' mother Veronica Rodriguez said. "I was so furious when she told me about it. Ceara started crying and I told her to suck it up. Is that not pathetic for them to do that? Yet again, they have crapped on her and made her feel alienated."

While the original article by JFP's Adam Lynch cites that Copiah County School District spokeswoman Martha Traxler refused to comment and referred questions to the county attorney, we went ahead and called Wesson Attendance Center directly.

The principal was out on traffic duty when we called, but Tammy Newman, who answered the phone at the school, said reports that Ceara was scrubbed from the yearbook are “inaccurate – what we’re asking is for someone, before they make accusations against us, they need to actually look at the yearbook.” How soon until a full scan of the yearbook can hit the Internet and settle the question?

original: Jackson Free Press via boingboing

More at Youth Radio:

Protecting the Military's Gays From Vindictive Outings

cfoster — Tue, 23 Mar 2010 19:23:50 -0500

By: Joseph Christopher Rocha

Those, like me, who are following the Pentagon's plans to end the ban on gays in the military, expect big changes soon. Based on a just-completed 45-day review of "don't ask, don't tell," the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff has received recommendations to apply the policy in "a manner that is more appropriate and fair." And while a full repeal of the policy likely remains months away, even the simplest change - raising the bar for the kind of evidence required to launch an investigation - could have a profound impact on the lives of gays and lesbians serving in the military. I know, because if that change had been made three years ago when I was enlisted, I would be a sophomore at the United States Naval Academy today.

After a childhood of abuse at the hands of a meth-addicted mother, I had only one dream, and only one ambition: to graduate from the Naval Academy and to dedicate my entire life to serving my country. I enlisted on my 18th birthday and, after serving for nearly four years and receiving three congressional nominations for the Naval Academy, I was accepted to the academy's preparatory school.

But to get to that moment, I had followed the rules of "don't ask, don't tell" to the point of endangering my own life. While I kept my sexuality to myself during my tour in the Persian Gulf as an explosive detection handler, my unit chief targeted me for unusually cruel and extensively documented hazing, in part because of rumors that I might be gay. I never reported the abuse to my commanding officers, since I feared that my chief or his buddies could retaliate by outing me. After all, launching a "don't ask, don't tell" investigation requires merely "credible information" from "reliable sources" - opening is known as a third-party outing.

So there I was at the doorsteps of this prestigious academy, evaluating what an officer career under DADT had to offer me and all I had already lost. I knew I deserved better. From a moral standpoint, I knew "don't ask, don't tell" violated every aspect of the Navy's core values of Honor, Courage and Commitment. And from the standpoint of self-preservation, I knew any snitch with a grudge could end my career.

I decided I'd rather be discharged as a veteran who served honorably in the Middle East, rather than risk a future discharge as an officer embroiled in an outing scandal or shamed by malice. So I made a statement to my commanding officer, telling him I was gay, and I was discharged.

The policy of third-party outings has effectively made thousands of the military's gay personnel into fugitives. While serving, no matter how closely we've follow DADT, we have lived every second with the fear that anyone, for any reason, and with little proof, has the ability to ruin our careers.

It is time now that our country values the sweat and blood of all troops and that we reward each of them with equal job security and human dignity.

Admiral Mike Mullen has the opportunity to reduce what can be considered "credible evidence" and effectively raise the standard of who qualifies as a "reliable source". And while far short of the necessary full repeal of "don't ask, don't tell," this stop-gap rule change will significantly lower the threat the policy poses to National Security by limiting the discharges of otherwise excellent personnel. I know from experience that it will ease the burden on the everyday lives of those serving under it, while the Department of Defense prepares for a full repeal of the military's ban against gays.

Frustrated and understandably angry by the prospect of the repeal taking another year, there are still those who demand an Executive Order, a temporary solution at the mercy of any Presidential Administration. However, we are not likely to see again the political capital invested today in the repeal effort by the White House, Department of Defense and Congress. We must support the only permanent solution: repeal by way of congressional law.

As for me, only in the case of such a repeal will I be allowed to serve once again and earn the commission I still dream of. And yet, knowing what Admiral Mullen's anticipated policy change will mean for the men and women serving today, I will celebrate them as the beginning of the end of institutionalized discrimination in our military.

Joseph Christopher Rocha, 23, is a junior in Political Science at the University of San Diego and was recently awarded the 2010 Harvey Milk Civil Rights Award for his extensive work in contributing to the effort to repeal "don't ask, don't tell."

Previously:

Prop 8 Trial Will Not Be Broadcast (For Now)

rpereira — Wed, 13 Jan 2010 19:19:37 -0600

The federal trial over California's ban on same-sex marriage opened on Monday in San Francisco with pleas from two gay men and two lesbians to be treated like anyone else who wants to marry. The plaintiffs are suing to overturn Prop. 8, saying it violates the constitutional guarantee of equal protection by discriminating based on sexual orientation and gender.

On Daily Kos, Adam B discusses a related 5-4 Supreme Court decision announced on Wednesday regarding YouTube broadcasting of the Prop 8 trial. The Court granted a stay of the order allowing same-day YouTube broadcast of the trial. Slate's Emily Bazelon writes about how the decision is awful and heavy-handed.

This is the first trial in any federal court over same-sex marriage; it is also seen as the first step in a case that could reach the U.S. Supreme Court determining the legality of same-sex marriage.

Previously:

Young and Gay In Cuba

noah — Tue, 22 Dec 2009 15:22:49 -0600

Reporter Rachel Krantz spent some time in Havana this past fall, and contributed a series of photo essays and stories. We're running one each day this week.

You always call the same phone number to find the party. When someone answers the phone, you always ask the same question:

"Donde esta la fiesta?"

The answer is an address--sometimes familiar, sometimes a new location. But without fail, every weekend, some sort of secret gay party is thrown in Havana, Cuba.

One Friday in Havana, my friend Damian agrees to take me to one. Damian is 23-years-old, Cuban, a filmmaker, and gay. With medium brown skin and a wide, knowing smile, Damian charms most people he meets. Although he only wanted his first name used for print, Damian is open when he talks about what it's like to be young and gay in Cuba.

"The hardest thing is finding a place to have safe sex," Damian says. "It's hard for everyone, but straight guys, they could bring a girlfriend home. I couldn't do that, of course not. My mom doesn't let me, it's forbidden."

Because almost everyone in Cuba lives with their parents until they're married, most parents are relaxed about their kids bringing girlfriends or boyfriends home overnight. But For gay youth, most parents are not so open minded. While Damian's mom knows he's gay, she doesn't like to talk about it or meet his boyfriends.

"The repercussion is terrible," Damian says. "You don't have a safe place anywhere. So you don't feel safe anywhere, with your desire. You're always thinking someone could see you. The police, if you try being in public places."

Under the law, being gay in Cuba is complicated to say the least. Same-sex relationships have only been legal since 1992, and the country has a history of systematic discrimination against gay people. In the 1960's, after the Revolution, homosexuals were declared "sexual deviants" and "agents of imperialism" by Fidel Castro. In the decade that followed, many gay people were sent to labor and re-education camps, where they were held for months or even years by their government.

In the 1980's, people who were HIV positive (gay and straight) were forcibly quarantined and put in sanatoriums in an effort to contain the disease. That policy was relaxed slightly in 1994 to allow people with HIV to live in their homes with government and medical supervision.

Today, while being gay isn't a crime, gay Cubans are more or less legally ignored. Same-sex relationships are not recognized by the government, and even committed couples don't have union or adoption rights.

For Damian, the harshest discrimination comes from the police. He says Cubans are often harassed by the police for public displays of affection under public decency laws.

"The police can't tell you it's illegal to hold a guy's hand, but they can tell you 'this is a public offense, it goes against the public order'", Damian says. "Just what 'public order' means is not clear, it's never been clear."

That lack of clarity is where the secret parties come in. Because there are no official gay clubs, the parties are a place where gay and lesbian people can meet, dance and not worry as much about who's watching.

So why are the parties illegal if being gay technically isn't?

In Cuba, any gathering that collects money has to be approved by the government and is subject to taxation and monitoring. Because the organizers of the secret parties collect a dollar at the door to cover the DJ and drinks, that's what technically makes the parties illegal.

[Continue to Page Two]

Young and Gay In Cuba [Page Two]

noah — Tue, 22 Dec 2009 15:28:08 -0600

[Return to Page One]

Damian and I climb a broken-stone staircase, the reggaton beats blasting inside get louder with each step. When we reach the door, I hand him a dollar and let him do the talking. The girl standing guard knows Damian and he smoothly tells her that I'm with him. When we enter, Damian tells me it definitely wouldn't be a good idea to break out my tape recorder or ask any questions. It would scare people.

The secret party this night is in a house with three rooms. It's hard to imagine someone living there, since all of the furniture has been cleared out, and the bathroom is just a toilet bowl and a broken door. The DJ is in the back room, and alternates between techno and reggaton hits. A couple of strobe and black lights are the only decorations.

People seem to have brought their own drinks, if they're drinking at all. In the middle room, people are dancing, but to my surprise, mostly in male-female pairings. Damian tells me knowingly that they are mostly gay men dancing with their straight female friends.

"How do you know those girls are straight?", I ask.

"I just know", Damian answers, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

Two women kiss in the corner. They are the only same-sex couple I see doing anything but holding hands.

The room by the door is where most of the men hang out. They lean against the wall, more reserved than most of the lesbians at the party. Some bob their heads to the music looking bored. Some make eyes at Damian, and some stand shyly, as if waiting for something to happen.

I ask Damian if he's ever met anyone worth dating at these parties.

"Oh yes, I have, sometimes great people. I never go up to them, I'm too shy. Usually how it works is if you like someone, you send your friend over. He says 'My friend thinks you're cute', or they send a friend over to you to do the same."

The innocence of sending a friend over to a guy with a message reminds me of how things used to work in middle school. The idea of it is charming, especially compared to the straight club culture in Cuba, where men are usually very aggressive. I ask Damian why he thinks people are less forward at gay parties.

"I think a lot of it has to do with our own shyness, our own shame. People are more afraid of being rejected."

Damian seems content leaning against the wall until the Black Eyed Peas' I've Got A Feelin' starts pumping.

As we dance, he smiles widely, singing along to the lyrics.

'I've got a Feelin', that tonight's gonna be a good night/ That tonight's gonna be a good good night".

After we dance awhile, I ask if I can take a break and get some air outside. There are almost no windows, and we've been surrounded by body heat and smoke for a couple hours now. Damian tells me I can't go outside, that's one of the rules of the party. The organizers are worried that if police see people loitering outside, they'll catch on and bust the party, which could mean jail.

Damian says he's tried to argue with the party organizers before, challenging them on their policy. "I ask them, why can't I go outside for a few minutes? They tell me 'You know why'. And I say, 'No I don't know why'. And they say 'Because we're not allowed, because we're gay'. And most of the time now, I just say, 'Yea, I know'."

[Page Three]

Young and Gay In Cuba [Page Three]

noah — Tue, 22 Dec 2009 15:32:06 -0600

[Return to Page Two]

A few nights after the party, Damian and I meet for dinner at one of Cuba's better restaurants. Dishes run about ten dollars each, which means the restaurant is only affordable for tourists or Cuba's elite. Damian tells me with a whisper that he's heard the restaurant is owned by lesbians. That night, as we're eating, a group of twenty women are having a dinner party. Damian tells me excitedly that they're all lesbians. Many are famous musicians, writers and artists in Cuba, which is why they can afford the restaurant.

Over spaghetti, I ask Damian what he thought of the party Friday night. He tells me he didn't think it was so fun, and wishes he could always go to Turf Club instead-- a 'straight' club in Havana that plays mostly techno.

I suggest that maybe things would be better if the government approved an official gay club in Havana. He disagrees.

"If there were official gay clubs it would be more or less the same--creating ghettos, but this time it would be official ghettos", Damian says. "I mean why do you create special clubs for gay people if you're not trying to create ghettos? That's where you go to do what you can't do outside that place. I don't want that. I want to go to Turf Club with my lover, and be able to kiss him."

Damian's tried before. He's dated a few foreigners, and even gone with them to Turf Club. They were fine with kissing and dancing at a straight club, but Damian felt like people at the club were watching and judging him. When Damian told one foreign boyfriend to tone down the PDA, he found himself in a familiar argument.

"He asked me, 'Why?' and I said 'You know why'", Damian pauses, realizing the irony of his story. "And that's really hard, to realize you say the same thing [that's been said to you]...I said 'We aren't allowed, it could be punished by the government, there's no specific punishment but there could be a punishment..."

Damian trails off, and his frustration is palpable. I feel him wondering how gay people in Cuba can begin to improve their situation when it's illegal for them to organize their own clubs, activism, or even parties.

"We have to know exactly what we want, a different way of life here in Cuba," Damian says. "We have to try to challenge the law so that the police can't harass people because there [would be] a law that doesn't allow them to do that."

But before that can happen, Damian knows he has other battles to fight.

"I grew up never talking about being gay, always hearing 'When you grow up, you'll marry a beautiful girl'...I think that will stay with me forever, that education, that insecurity." Damian pauses, and he looks me straight in the eyes. "I will try to start the fight with me," Damian says. "With me and my own homophobia. The homophobia that makes you believe on some level you're wrong. You have to fight against that."

New York Senate Votes Against Gay Marriage

rpereira — Wed, 02 Dec 2009 16:08:00 -0600

The New York state Senate defeated a bill Wednesday afternoon that would have legalized same-sex marriage, the New York Times reports. Gay rights advocates had expected the measure to win, but instead, the vote marks the latest impediment to the gay marriage movement. Last month, Maine blocked same-sex marriage through a voter referendum.

The measure, which no Republican senator supported, lost 38 to 24. A similar bill had passed twice in the state Assembly. Also, Gov. David Paterson had said he would sign bill, making New York "the latest state where gay rights advocates have made considerable progress only to see their hopes dashed," says the Times. If the New York measure had passed, New York would have become the sixth state where marriage between same-sex couples is legal or would soon be permitted.

(via The New York Times)

Previously:

Voters Oppose Putting Gay Marriage Back on Ballot

rpereira — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 17:19:28 -0600

A recent Los Angeles Times/USC poll found that a large portion of voters oppose efforts to place the same-sex marriage issue back on the ballot next year.

Views on same-sex marriage were polarized based on political party, with 66% of Democrat respondents believeing it should be legal and 71% of Republicans thinking it should not. Nonpartisan voters backed same-sex marriage 59%-34%.

Overall, 51% of California voters favored marriage rights for same-sex couples and 43% were opposed to same-sex marriage. Most noteably, almost 60% of Californians did not want to revisit the issue in 2010.

In November of 2008, Californians voted 52% to 48% to limit marriage rights to one man and one woman. Same-sex marriage advocates have been split over whether to push for a new vote next year or wait until 2012, when the presidential election will draw more voters to the polls.

Supporters of gay marriage are also strategizing in other states. On Tuesday, voters in Maine repealed a state measure that had granted marriage rights to same-sex couples.

(via The Los Angeles Times)

Previously:

Snapshot of National Equality March

rebecca — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 15:33:41 -0500

The Latin American Youth Center’s Joel Carela attended the National Equality March in Washington, D.C. this month and sent a photo and some brief thoughts.

During the National Equality March, I was surrounded by some of the most dedicated queer rights advocates. Everywhere I turned there were people from places as close as Baltimore, Maryland and as far as San Francisco, California. To see all of these advocates converging on to the nation's capital both sent chills down my spine and raised my confidence.

Previously: