Youth Radio - Topic: Relationships

The Beauty of Support

AGonzalez — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 23:05:32 -0600

Support is a quality everyone should have in life. Support could be an emotionally expressed thought; it could also be an action of good. But no matter what type of support it is, it affects who we are.

A week ago, as I was on my way here to Youth Radio on BART, I received a text. It was my boyfriend, he had just found out his mother wasn’t the only one in the family with cancer, his sister was diagnosed too. He was heartbroken, worried sick. I didn’t know how to reply to him, all I could say was I’m really sorry. I wanted to say more, let him know I’m here to support him but I couldn’t find the right words. The weekend passed and when we went back to school we were both busy preparing for our finals. Lunch was the only time we spent together. But we spent our lunches talking about me. I told him all the things I had to do throughout the week and he helped me out in my work and told me he believed I could finish it all in time. I avoided asking him how he was because I felt like all I’d be doing was reminding him of everything that was going on with his sister. On Thursday, I realized how much support and help I’ve received from him and here he was going through the roughest time in his life and I haven’t even asked him if he was okay? I met up with him for lunch and I saw how much he needed my support. I asked him how he was feeling and he released all his emotions to me. After talking out our feelings we were both able to smile. It felt good knowing we had each other. I learned from my mistake and accepted the fact that we can’t just ignore reality, instead we should talk it out.

Sharing experiences, believing, helping, and letting someone know they're not alone is a type of support. For example, a strong, healthy relationship can be one of the best supports in your life. Good relationships improve your life in all ways, strengthening your health, your mind and your communication with others as well. Now, it may be that one of you just got accepted into a good school, got the job, or wants to try something new like search for a new hobby, or it may be that things at home aren't going great and it's just the worst time of our lives’ but there should always be the support coming from both sides. Because no matter how silly or serious the situation can be, letting your partner know you will help them find what they search for in life in order to make them happy is very important and reveals as a message how much you care for them to see them happy. However, it can also be one of the greatest disasters if the relationship is not working. Relationships are an investment. The more you put in, the more you get back. Love and relationships take work, commitment, and a willingness change throughout life as a team. But most of all support!

Support is fundamental to everyone, everyone should have in their lives no matter their age, race, or gender everyone needs something from each other!

He Loves Me He Loves Me Not?

edrexler — Fri, 02 Dec 2011 19:51:03 -0600

A lot of girls who are in relationships often forget that relationships are a two way street. I know from experience because I was in a long serious relationship and he began flirting with other girls. I had never felt so disrespected in my life. How can he say loves me, and then go and do that? It was really hard for me for a while. It took a few weeks after we broke up until I realized, yes I am going to miss him, and miss those times when he really did care about me, but I needed to take a step back and acknowledge my worth. Even though my life is going to change tremendously without him and this process might be long and hard, I need to pay more attention to how much respect I should be demanding. I have a lot going for me right now, and I am doing good in school so I am going to try and focus on that for now and try to not be affected by him so much. Often, when women get caught up in relationships, men can sort of control their emotions. Many guys think that they can love a woman and disrespect her at the same time, but that’s not how it should work. If someone really loves their partner, they should prove it by loving them and only them, and not wanting other women. I hope that some women take some time to remember how special they are as an individual. Relationships are amazing, and love is a great thing, but I wish women wouldn’t always get so caught up in them, like I did for a while, and recognize who they are.

People Never Change

dsims — Fri, 21 Oct 2011 21:39:34 -0500

People never change. When people claim, “I’m a changed man” or “I’m a changed woman”, I quickly pay no attention to it because I strongly believe that people never change. I think that I’ve developed to this mentality due to being let down or disappointed by “changed” people in the past. For example, my dad has been in and out of jail ever since I was five years old. Growing up, I constantly asked myself if my dad really “changed”, why he would keep going back to his old ways. Another example, i had a boyfriend that I would go on and off, back and forth with. One month we were together, the next we weren’t. During the relationship, I would constantly ask myself, if my boyfriend really “changed”, why we keep break up over and over again. Lately, I’ve been thinking that, although I believe people never change, people do grow. I and my dad’s relationship has been an emotional roller coaster. Yes, my dad has made mistakes in the past but I do commend him for making an effort to be the best dad that he can be. My dad will never be the perfect dad, but I’ve learned to accept the fact that he is my only dad. Therefore I must accept his growth and be thankful. And although my ex-boyfriend may not have been the perfect boyfriend, I’ve accepted the fact that we’re probably just meant to be friends. The fact that people change is inevitable. The way i see change is through growth.

Playas Get Played

dwilliams — Wed, 12 Oct 2011 19:29:20 -0500

When I came to high school and met Sherry, I thought that she was the perfect girl. I’d never meet a girl as good as her ever again! But then I met Madison, and that whole theory collapsed like a stack of moist cards. The whole “player” image has been glorified in culture for a while. Countless movies and songs like “womanizer” by Britney Spears have shown that players are mostly cold, heartless, selfish jerks. And this is true. But I’m not like that, right? I’m good old funny old Malachi, right? Wrong! But I didn’t mean for it to happen. I was (mostly) perfectly fine with Sherry. But Madison was new. She was exciting. She was cute. But I was far too much of a wimp to break up with Sherry, and I still liked her. But I liked Madison too. So, I did the jerky heartless thing and started seeing both. Now, let me stop here. This is a bad idea. But the temptation was too much, and now, I’m the “womanizer” that women love to hate.
Let me tell you, it’s stressful work being a player. Which one should I go to lunch with? Which one should I hang out with after school? I can’t stand to be around both girls at the same time, as weird as that may seem, so I can only choose one. As you may have seen on so many TV shows, managing two people at one time never works. Just this past week, I received an alarming text. Sherry told me how she really felt about Madison. “When she’s around you, I want to break her computer, make her cry harder than ever, shave her hair off, and have her make out with a girl in front of you!” Wow. Is this the same happy nice sherry that I know? I guess so. Now I feel bad! And I know I have to choose one. So, my point is that it’s never worth it. I now know why guys become players. There’s so many hot women in the world, how can you only be with one? But these are human beings you’re dealing with. They have feelings just like you. How would you feel if some chick was sharing you? Jealously, anger, mistrust, all of these are side effects. And it never turns out well. I learned my lesson. You can’t play the game, kids. And neither can I.

Different Opinions On Interracial Dating

msanders — Tue, 09 Aug 2011 18:36:09 -0500

The following originally aired on KCBS.

By: Meisha Sanders

Not everyone likes to date outside their race, but race doesn’t matter to me.

When I asked my dad what he would do if I dated outside my race he told me, “I don’t rock like that.” That made me question who I should or shouldn’t bring home. He doesn’t want someone else’s family to be judgmental towards me.

But race isn’t a factor to me when I date. When I meet someone I just look at their personality traits. If a guy has a sense of humor and lets me have space, we could have a great relationship.

My aunt and uncle are not the same race but they click. I always see them talking and making each other laugh. Sometimes when my aunt and uncle walk down the street they get funny looks but they don’t care about anybody else’s opinion.

I agree with my aunt and uncle that race doesn’t matter. I only wish my dad felt the same way.

Summer Love Lessons

denise — Wed, 20 Jul 2011 13:17:26 -0500

The following originally aired on KQED-FM.

By: Rachel Krantz

“You guys have been dating 5 months? And you're going to live out of a car together for how long?” That was the reaction we usually got when we told people about our summer plans.

Staring out of opposite windows in Minnesota, it was starting to seem like a valid concern. My boyfriend Ethan and I were just 2 weeks into our romantic journey, but the honeymoon was definitely over.

We'd come up with the idea just a few months after we'd met: What if we took all summer to drive cross-country and collected America's first love stories? The idea was simple and lovesick, like our new, seemingly flawless relationship.

There was the woman in Seattle who'd been in love with two men at once, one of whom was a heroin addict. Then, there was the seemingly perky lady from Loveland who after half an hour revealed she'd often felt alone in her marriage.

Many times, people thanked us. They were grateful to unload these stories onto young people, people who still believed in love.

We felt honored and tried to ignore our relationship's newfound disconnect. I focused on communicating with our subjects instead of Ethan.

Things finally came to a head when we admitted we weren't having fun. We cried, yelled, hugged, pushed away, then cried and talked some more. In other words, we had a good old-fashioned fight. And damn, did it feel good. We'd finally stopped trying to be the ideal young couple and started being ourselves: imperfect, and a little melodramatic.

The day after our fight, we found ourselves in Minneapolis, interviewing a man who gives boat rides on Lake Calhoun.

“So how does it feel to have met Prince Charming?” he asked, completely serious.

Ethan laughed, embarrassed, realizing the irony. I told the group of strangers the truth: Ethan isn't my Prince Charming. He's my Real Person. A person revealing himself to be flawed and sometimes frustrating, just like me.

In other words, he's the person I'm just beginning to really love.

Young People Stand Behind Planned Parenthood

denise — Fri, 25 Mar 2011 14:16:21 -0500

Talking about sex may not be the most comfortable conversation for people, but it’s definitely something young people are talking about more than ever. Students of Wesleyan University created the “I Have Sex” video as their way to protest against the cuts that would target Planned Parenthood. The video shows young people holding a sign and admitting that they are sexually active and on birth control.

Planned Parenthood provides affordable forms of birth control and contraceptives, sex-ed programs, free cancer screenings, pap smears, gynecological exams, free STI and STD testing and other health services.

Break-Ups? Relationships

jbriseno — Fri, 25 Feb 2011 22:02:23 -0600

It seems today that many high school relationships don’t work out because of miss communication and issues such as commitment, trust, support and other differences. For example, communication in a relationship is important because you can express your feelings towards one another. And it also leads to trust because trust is the foundation of a relationship. Commitment is how much time you put into the relationship. Some people don’t want to be commitment because they think it means getting serious. In high school some people decide it’s better to be in an open relationship, rather then one that results in people getting their feelings hurt. But at the same time some guys think commitment is a waste of time. In my school some guys want to be with the girl but then after that they want another girl to keep their options open. High school break ups are difficult to have because in high school, you’re just a teenager having fun; commitments aren’t the first thing you think of. You don’t think of what makes a good relationship or how to treat that person. For example for us girls relationships mean a lot, the ones we have with our friends, our parents, and sometimes someone special. It’s true we don’t know everything about relationship, but we learn and usually the times that we learn about relationships happen in high school.

The Scary Side Of Online Dating

cfoster — Thu, 18 Nov 2010 18:46:34 -0600

This commentary originally aired on WAMU, American University Radio in Washington, D.C.

By Destiny Jackson

It’s normal for teenage girls to get messages on their Myspace or Facebook pages from guys they don’t know. They say things like, “Hey, you look good.” Or simply, “Wats good?”

I always play it safe and ignore these guys -- I don’t know who they are or what their intent is. But one day last year, my best friend found a stranger’s message waiting on her page and she replied.

They started writing back and forth and she realized he had first written to her because she was cute. When he wrote messages like "Baby, you the one for me," she began to feel he truly cared for her. Pretty soon he wrote, "When are we going to see each other?"

I told my friend I was very suspicious -- how did she know this guy wasn’t a grown man who planned to kidnap her? But she met him anyway, alone. Turned out, he was just another teenager from outside DC.

Still, he worried me.

I worried that while my friend said the relationship was serious, she never introduced him to her parents or friends. I worried that no one knew him or even had a connection to him. On dates, they would meet alone at the movie theater or at his house, in a part of Maryland we didn’t know well. And I worried that this 15-year-old guy only wanted one thing from my 14-year-old friend -- sex.

One day she told me she was going to skip school to go to his house. I told her it was dangerous to sneak off without telling someone exactly where she would be. She didn't listen.

After first period music class, the school alerted my friend’s parents that she hadn’t shown up for class.

Then, about half an hour later, my friend called the school crying. Her boyfriend had hurt her and tried to rape her, she said. And she needed to get away from him. Her mom drove to pick her up and the school called the police.

In the end, he didn’t cause much physical harm -- just a few bruises she got while struggling to escape. Things could have been much worse. I could have lost my best friend that day.

For adults, Internet dating has become more and more normal and probably nothing to worry about. But teens may be putting themselves in danger when they seek romance online. If you’re dating someone you know only through the Internet, be honest with your
parents or another adult you trust. Because as teens, our online communities may be growing every day, but the only space where there is reliable accountability is in our real-life community.

These commentaries by D.C. area teens are part of a collaboration between WAMU's Youth Voices program, Youth Radio and the Latin American Youth Center.

Talking to Teens About Sex

Hard Knocks, Good School

Love Can Bring Us Together

Support for this content is provided in part by the National Science Foundation.

Talking to Teens About Sex

cfoster — Mon, 16 Aug 2010 15:29:18 -0500

This commentary originally aired on WAMU, American University Radio in Washington, D.C.

By Camille Moore

Let’s face it fellow teenagers, all of those juicy blogs, magazines and TV shows we love know exactly how we think. They fill their pages and screens with fashion tips, workout plans and romantic advice:vital information for a 15-year-old girl whose hormones are raging. But they don’t always use this knowledge for good.

With all the media I’m exposed to, I’m often left to wonder, "Are my clothes cute enough?,” “Is my body thin enough?” and “When should I experience the big "S-E-X" to fit in with the crowd?”

The way teen-targeted magazines answer that last question can be particularly problematic. Do I really need an article entitled “How to get the sexiest guy in school with just 3 easy steps?" or what about a recent Glamour magazine cover, which promised to teach readers how to give a guy, “The best sex he’s ever had?”

It seems like the media has thrown the old just-be-yourself philosophy out the window. It falls to parents to teach those kinds of lessons. But parents are often too scared of teenage sex to have an honest conversation about it.

I remember when my mom found my brother's sex magazines. She went into hysterics. Then she sat him down and told him, “Son, if you engage in sexual activities, you might catch something from one of these fast little girls and your ‘you know what’ might fall off.”

No curious teen wants to be lectured by his parents on how sex is a terrible thing to do at a young age and how it would be ten times better if he waited until marriage. Most teenagers won’t buy that argument.

If the media can find the keys to the teen psyche, parents can too. They can start by getting tips from the same magazines we do.

Alright, it is hilarious to imagine mom and dad sipping coffee and opening an issue of Seventeen magazine instead of the morning newspaper, but now when I’m done reading an issue of my favorite magazine, I give it to my mom. It’s opened our relationship.

Now instead of her running into my room to ask “Why did I just see the words ‘birth control’ pop up on Google’s history?,” she approaches me with “Have you seen this article about the new birth control pill?”

In other words, the “Talk” isn’t a lecture anymore, but an actual conversation.

These commentaries by D.C. area teens are part of a collaboration between WAMU's Youth Voices program, Youth Radio and the Latin American Youth Center.

Hard Knocks, Good School

Love Can Bring Us Together